you're changing your heart.

One, two, three, four
Tell me that you love me more
Sleepless long nights
That is what my youth was for

Old teenage hopes are alive at your door
Left you with nothing but they want some more

Oh, you're changing your heart
Oh, You know who you are

Sweetheart bitterheart now I can't tell you apart
Cosy and cold, put the horse before the cart

Those teenage hopes who have tears in their eyes
Too scared to own up to one little lie

Oh, you're changing your heart
Oh, you know who you are

One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, or ten
Money can't buy you back the love that you had then
One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, or ten
Money can't buy you back the love that you had then

Oh, you're changing your heart
Oh, you know who you are
Oh, you're changing your heart
Oh, you know who you are
Oh, who you are

For the teenage boys
They're breaking your heart
For the teenage boys
They're breaking your heart

past tense - broken.
and now fully repaired.

the answer to all your questions!

JUSTTT move!
then that will solve all of your problems.


maybe that's what i'll do...
move to california.
find a boyfriend.
move in with that boyfriend.
forget all about the family and friends i've abandoned in New York.
and he can be my best friend - fuck; my only friend.


and we will label it all as "just what people do."
yup, that's what everybody does right?

life and death

it's times like these i'm glad we're "normal". this man had it all going for him. i [like most of you] first encountered this beautiful man from "10 Things I Hate About You". and if you know me, you know if i have any downfalls it's accents and bad boys. that australian voice, piercing eyes and sexy smirk had me all in a tizzy as a teenager. all of a sudden every girl i knew wanted a "Patrick Verona" of their own.

and yet... look at the way he died, look how they all die. it's such a tragedy. and worse of all is that they suspect pills are what killed him. anyone can accidentally OD on heroin or coke even... but pills? that's so purposeful looking. nobody with pills beside their bed has never thought: "one more won't kill me." because it doesn't. popping them like tic-tacs does. i have to wonder what he thought was so bad about his life that he had to end it... if he even did. maybe he was framed. it is possible--don't believe what your naive minds want you too. and when you think about how many people in this world are willing to kill a person just because he played a gay cowboy? now i'm not saying this is the case. and i hope its not. at least as we know it so far, he died in his bed-- hell, thats how i wish i would go. i don't want to here later on that it was all a cover up. but do you really think marilyn died from an OD? i find it hard to believe. especially when she had no prior drug history... just like heath. but again, it's hollywood and we all know any kind of death you can possibly conjure up is available there.

in hollywood or in the real world; this is a horrible situation. we will all miss that unassuming charm, handsome features and sharp-as-a-tack wit on screen. and i for one am so sad about it. i've been in shock since i heard. even been crying off and on. he was such a promising young man with a gorgeous daughter and bright career ahead of him... now we will never know. let's just hope he is in a better place.
don't let the outcome tarnish the good...

rest in peace, heath ledger.
i'll always remember the good.