about me:

i'm samantha saeva... but call me sam, please.
since i was 1, my mom has been in a nursing home with multiple sclerosis. which makes me an only child and contrary to popular belief - i don't like it. a little after my mom was admitted permanently, my grandmother died of cancer. so i was raised by my father and grandfather. for most of his life, my grandfather was a farmer and took care of his older brother's horse while i was alive. her name was 'presumed innocent' and she was mainly to race; since my whole family practically are impulsive gamblers but, i loved her to death. my grandpa died when i was 7 and since then, i've basically went from child to adult without much else in the middle. while most girls were playing with barbies, i was watching / playing sports. joe montana was my hero when i was a kid ... not that that means i'm good at any of them. i suck at most of them actually haha but i love to play & the competition anyhow. he chose not to have the open-heart surgery. my grandpa never had much but even back then, i knew that he loved me with all his heart. he just didn't love me more than his wife. love, or maybe its side effects, was always something i had to cope with ironically. my mother went to catholic school and stayed a virgin until she married the love of her life. and my dad was a loud sicilian that never took any shit. and even at that age, i had always thought: 'where did it get everybody?' the only time i've ever rebelled in my life was soon after my papa died. i remember sitting in my mother's closet one day, just crying my eyes out and trying on everything dad kept of hers ... from makeup, shoes, dresses, hats - anything that was in there. and from that day forward: i've been a fashionista. i basically taught myself how to be and act like a woman. ya know, doing my hair and makeup right; i put myself on a clinique skin care regimen at 10 [which later my dad told me that my mom used to do the very same thing]; and got my first pair of heels in grade 5. they were denim wedges, about 4.5 inches high, that i wore with ev-ery-thinggg. until one night i fell flat on my face. i thought i broke my nose, busted my lip, chipped my 2 front teeth - you name it and all i ended up with was a scar on my knee. my pop yelled at me and i obliged him by not wearing them until a week later, when i got right back up on my feet and into those heels again. my summer vacations were spent watching the yankees with my dad, while reading cosmo [good thing pop had no idea what the magazine had in it. and at 11, a girl still blushed at the sex articles of course]. around then, i met my, now current, best friend. i think it was at girl scouts... we bonded over the backstreet boys if i remember correctly. a year later, i had my first trip to toronto that basically changed my life forever. i was able to be independent, but most of all, i was ecstatic. it may be considered another country but it's where i really l i v e my life; where i'm most comfortable in my own skin. i sort of live two lives in most aspects of my life but especially between new york and ontario... and my sister is like the bridge that keeps me from collapsing. meg was right there for the majority of those hogtown trips... and she has turned into the biggest influence in my life. she's not only my best friend; she is my sister, my flesh and blood and my dad loves her like his own. even though i owe her more than i could ever repay, i am so lucky that i have her around to tell me that i can do whatever i want. even if that means moving from this rediciously small town to T.O. [well that is, when my budget allows]. i never had that positive attitude growing up. no one told me that i could do whatever i put my mind to and my heart in. i think she knows that i'm forever in debt to her [and it probably helps that i tell her all the damn time haha]. god has dealt us some equally whack ass shit in our lives and it brought us to the brink of giving up a couple of times but we fought back like motherfucking soldiers. i can safely say that considering the circumstances, we turned into 2 amazing women... i don't want to talk about those poor bastards who broke out hearts when we were 17, but i will say that even though they changed us forever, they never deserved us to begin with and in the end: we ended up on top.
that's all i really know about me & the rest is a still work in progress.

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as for the basics:
--my favorite band is rancid; but i listen to & love pretty much everything like: elvis, jay-z, madball, moz, the rat pack, etc.
--my favorite movie is 'cat on a hot tin roof' starring, my favorites - paul newman & elizabeth taylor [but really, any audrey hepburn and john wayne films need honorable mentions on that list too].
--my favorite book is persuasion by jane austen but i love and i don't want to live this life, written by nancy spungen's mother, just because the reader gets a preview to the soft side of sid vicious.
--the only tv shows i try not to miss are: prison break and rob & big... however i seem to be a fan of sex & the city, everybody loves raymond and frasier re-runs.
--who my heroes are is a pretty easy question to answer: my sister and rob dyer. those two could be the best people i've ever came into contact with. and of course my mother is the strongest person i have ever known. and any thing or trait that may be good within me comes from her.
--i'm currently in college for communications; specifically for public relations.
--i'm a vegetarian.
-- i have one dog: mollie nizzle<3 who i am protective of and spoil rotten.
--i'm pretty much known for my shoes and making good cupcakes, i guess.
--and lastly, i'm single and frik'n hating it.
-- bleedingxdiamond

anything else? just ask - i have no reason to lie; or better yet, just figure it out for yourself ;)