let it be.

i'm having one of those days ...

one of those days where you doubt yourself and your goals, ambitions, dreams, and realities. i need to just calm my ass down. i owe no one any answers. and i don't have to make up my mind right now, but i still worry. i think i worry too much. or maybe i think too much?

do i move to toronto by myself or move to a place i've never been to with my best friend?
i don't have to answer now.
i know i worry too much.
but both could kill me.

i guess this is where praying comes in. pray that things will go well, that you get what you want, who you want, that your friends and family are healthy and supportive of you and all that you do... but where do prayers end and ambitions/dreams begin?

hope, thats all we can do. that, and learn for our mistakes... some lessons we learn right off the bat. and others have to slap us in the fucking face --- i'm hoping it's not the latter for me [well, at least not this time.]

i guess this is why he worked in a basement

so i found this the other day - i copied and pasted it from a from stupid msg. board at the beginning of the year:
scene one, take one.
location: urban outfitters.
date: january, 24th, 2007.

characters:
-chris, cashier.
-jamie, cashier.
-mother (with large kid in a stroller), customer/s.
-girl (at jamie's cash), customer.

mother: (with large kid in stroller) walks up to chris`s cash.
'where is the mens section?'

chris: (hopped up on two liters of soda).
'the second floor and there is an elevator so you can bring up your baby.'

kid in stroller: (shoots chris an awful glare, he is clearly not a baby)

chris: (three seconds later, as mother begins to turn stroller around, still in clear hearing range)
'fuck that baby.'

girl: (in shock at next till, speaking to jamie).
'did he just say that?'

jamie: (says calmly to girl).
'yes'.

HAHAHAHAHAHA<3

then this morning, i wake up to this lovely message:


so the connection isn't really there for these 'separate' topics but hey, both made me smile.

oh and FYI: i am back to my normal self, well minus a few sniffles here and there... thank you to all of those who wished me well!
teehee. atreyu, dinner?, sleepover, breekie? tomorrow!


----------------
Listening to: Atreyu - Blow

everyday feels like Sunday

i have so much work to do but since my Steelers are on i guess that i'll finish it after the game.
my weekend has been pretty shitty and filled with tea, toilet paper, cough drops, meds and trying to sleep. i got the sniffles late friday night and by saturday morning it turned into a full fledged cold... in fact, it's one of the worst i've had in awhile. i usually don't get sick very often so i'm chalking it up to being stress related [well mostly]. i've had a lot on my plate lately - both good and bad. between my best friend turning 21, starting school, scheduling my driver's test, learning how to parallel park, getting called in for jury duty, getting photo [& lady] supplies, doing laundry, cleaning and cooking, it's a lot to take in. but i love being busy. it keeps me on my toes. even now, i'm still sick but i'm multi-tasking at the same time.
next week is a pretty big week, i have my first photo assignment due and my first business test [not looking forward to that] however, it brightens up during the middle when i get to see atreyu with my best friend on wednesday in buffalo - which i told her i would take her out to dinner after and more than likely i'll end up sleeping over her house, since there are four bands, an hour drive and with dinner, it will probably be about midnight i figure... at least i don't have class until 11 the next morning so i'll be able to sleep in somewhat which i always love. then the next day i will have three hours of photo lab. with this cute new guy. i'm not dropping names, hints or anything here - i'm over it all. i just like looking at him and listening to him sing daughtry; that is all i'm gonna say about that.

i will be 21 in EXACTLY one month; holy shit!
and what am i going to do???? i have no idea.
i suppose i got some time to think about it.