come closer...

i have a secret to tell you...

i love this website!
hulu.com - FREE, FULL episodes, EVERY show i love or loved, can be added to ANY website, and with few or NO commercials. and it's completely legit so no one can try and delete it from under you like youtube does.

and they just added "How I Met Your Mother" - i'm in heaven.

i mean seriously... look at this list: http://www.hulu.com/browse/network/tv

prison break, the office, HIMYM, the bad girls club!, dirt, back to you... even wrestling! urghhh all my guilty pleasures... wentworth, john, jason and bitches hahaha

ok bedtime, more viewing tomorrow.

sometimes...

i don't know why i do things. but something told me to view rachael's blog entitled "my friends"... and her 10 people she chose for this survey were none i knew.

fine. awesome. to be expected.

then i decided to look at her older ones, and thats where the real disappointment and anger and frustration took hold. having ones in 05 like "hanging at samies with her and meggy." or seeing comments i left her that ended in "i love you". or blog comments from 05 from meghan like "i hope i get to see you over the summer! <3 Meggy Megson" and kristel even saying that she loved her and to keep her chin up. and now rach has the audacity to ask her if she even knows her?!?! and it just came out and i started crying. even yesterday, a few tears came out when i saw evan's new pix because i thought "he should have an aunt sam." she never had a fuckin clue. it has always been and will always be rachael, rachael, rachael. and i'm fuckin sick of it. i deleted her off my buddy list and made it private. when may comes around we are doing absolutely nothing besides getting my fucking shoes back. fuck it. i'm so sick of convenient friends.

i mean, i have jenna in cali-fuckin-fornia telling me that she wants to meet me because of how much i inspire her and even though i'm 3000 miles away something about me radiates. i have ericka and jenny who i write like pages and pages of feelings and shit to this past week and will get pages and pages back just because they understand and can relate and fuckin share. even though jenna is 25 and jenny/ericka is 17, it doesn't matter because they care enough to be nice to me... hell, even more than nice. jesus fuckin christ, i even commented dave tryin to be funny asking him to teach me how to be metal and he comments back "perhaps when you are out here." the thought of hangin with the dear and departed alone was enough to make me smile/laugh. and yet, all of those messages or feelings don't even begin to compare to my best friend. i can't sleep at night unless we've said 'nite, love ya' s. i do not ask for much. and it doesn't take much to win me over.

i'm such a smart girl, but i'm such a sucker for trying to be nice to her. partially because i blame myself. partially because i think she needs a friend. but she doesn't. she would have noticed wayyyy before now how loyal i am, just like meghan tells me i am like every birthday or thanksgiving or christmas. i'm not a jealous person. i'm not a dramatic person. fuck, i'm not even a sad person anymore. but there's something about rachael that just makes me want to put a baseball bat to her skull.

over it.

4 am. bedtime and making a new layout with meg's ideas in it tomorrow. fuck you. i'm a dork. and i enjoy making shit that requires me lookin at HB dudes for hours on end. at least someone sees it and tells me they appreciate it. at least i don't have a one year old kid, fat ass, bird nose, sagging tits or a deadbeat baby daddy. ohh ok, that was a lil mean. i will retract that previous sentence.

fuck, i'm such an angry person inside. one of these days... just watch the fuck out. i need a good laugh to make me feel like i'm not such a terrible person. to feel light and easy going again. cuz right now, i'm just stressed, >:|

better...

than before.
than most.


off.
<3

i had a waterloo view today... and i had to feel nothing.

80 Things You Might Not Know About Me


Whats your middle name?
Alma, after Grandma

How big is your bed?
Big enough ;]

How is the weather right now?
chilly.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
dad?

What is the first thing you notice in the opposite sex?
I think their clothing and eyes.

Favorite type of Food?
italian. or chinese!

Do you want children?
In the future, maybe.

Do you drink?
only when i need to.

Ever get so drunk you don't remember the entire night?
nah. portions - yes lol

Hair color?
natural? light brown. right now - red/brownish.

Eye color?
greenish brown.

Do you wear contacts/glasses?
no, I want colored contacts though.

Favorite holiday?
i'm too old to have a favorite.

Favorite Season?
Probably Spring thru Fall.

Have you ever cried over a girl/boy?
hahahaha no never *eye roll*

Last Movie you Watched?
No Country for Old Men -- wtf?!

What books are you reading?
Glamour. Vogue. Nylon.

Piercings?
2x ears...if i wear them.

Favorite Movies?
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof...and really any other with Paul Newman.

Favorite college football team?
Oh, I don't care about college sports.

What were you doing before filling this out?
Checking in with my Styled myspace

Any pets?
Bubbies<3

Dogs or cats?
both please; and horses; and pandas; and dolphins.

favorite flowers?
lilies!

Who would you like to see right now?
...i don't even want to say. [refer to plane question]

Have you ever fired a gun?
Yup.

Do you like to travel by plane?
YESSSSSSS - woot June will be the next trip

Right-handed or Left-handed?
Righty.

If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
...i don't even want to say this either. [refer to plane question]



and i definitely counted and theres 26 questions listed, not even close to 80.
stupid myspace.